Dirty Secrets
by RebelByrdie
Summary: Catherine Willows isn't the only CSI with a checkered past. What skeletons is Sara Sidle hiding in her closet...and what happens when the team stumbles on to them?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or premises of the television show CSI. I make no financial gain from this writing endeavor but I wish I did...because I am seriously lacking in the financial department...I mean I would need a loan to give my two-cents worth on a topic... That was a joke people...I'm not all angst all the time...fine, don't laugh.

Rated M for Mature: Scenes of rape and statutory rape of a minor, child pornography, and graphic scenes of violence, nudity and sexual acts of an explicit nature. Adult situations and themes as well as course language. Not a tale for the feint of heart.

Warning: Slight implied femeslash. Unrequited as far as we know, this time around. Not much to worry about, really...so calm down, this fic isn't about femeslash, not by a loooooong shot.

Author's Note: After a slight break in writing due to finals, lets not talk about those anymore...ever, I'm back. Hooray. This fic came to me during a post test haze. So...we must blame exhaustion and stress and my strange strange muses. I'm currently in the midst of a writing streak and will be putting out one fic after another, which makes me happy. Though most will have to go through last minute re-writes to adjust to the cannon laid down by the Season 6 finale. Lots and lots of angst coming down the road. Well, enough with the blabbing, it's time to get down to this story.

The following story deals with Sara Sidle's past and the secrets she keeps about it. Very dark and a little bit disturbing...Though I am no way implying that this tale is somehow true to Sara's character, or Jorja Fox in real life.

_Italics_ represent a flash back sequence...or chapter title.

As always, feedback is appreciated, loved and usually makes my day, especially if it has something constructive to say, even if it isn't particularly kind. Now, READ!

Dirty Secrets

A CSI Story

By RebelByrdie

_Prologue_

Sara Sidle was a mystery, an enigma and a riddle. She liked it that way. She had secrets; dirty, filthy, disgusting secrets that no one could ever know. There were dark places in her soul, in her past, that no one -not even Gilbert Grissom- knew about. It was better that way. She wouldn't be able to stand their stares, their pity, their revulsion.

When she worked, she mostly pushed everything about herself away, far into the background. There were cases though, that got to her. It wasn't unusual. All criminalists had their quirks and everyone had cases that got to them. Her problems were saliva, rape and domestic abuse. In the grand scheme of things, she wasn't all that bad off. Those cases though, they brought her nightmares to the surface, brought her ugly past back to haunt her. Every time she thought she'd beaten the darkness back, a case would knock her back on her ass, back to square one.

She'd once let part of her past slip, to Grissom, of all people. He'd held her hand...and never looked at her the same way again. It was a lesson she'd had to learn the hard way. She couldn't let her past out, couldn't let everyone else see her demons. It was like a strange twist on the Dorian Gray Curse, if the others saw her true self, she would lose everything she'd worked for.

Secrets, though, have an annoying habit of being found out. Just like a criminal leaves a piece of himself at a crime scene; festering secrets left clues all their own. A tiny spark , an unguarded moment or a damning twist of fate can bring everything crashing down.

Mini Disclaimer: Just if you didn't know, I don't own Dorian Gray or his curse, either...Surprise!


	2. Chapter I: In Search of Innocence

_Chapter I_

_In Search of Innocence_

Innocence Parker cowered in the corner of the dirty,dank and disgusting room. Tears ran out of her blue eyes. She just wanted to go home. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid. It had been late and she'd been partying…she knew better then to walk anywhere at night by herself. When the man had grabbed her she'd screamed…but no one had heard her. She'd kicked against him, but he'd pressed a rag over her mouth and nose and she'd gotten woozy and passed out.

She'd been in this God-awful room for two days now. She lived in terror. He was going to rape her, going to kill her. All because she'd had a stupid fight with her stupid friends. She sniffed and roughly wiped at her tears. She wanted her mother. Innocence was only fifteen.

* * *

The entire team was on the Innocence Parker case. Unfortunately, with 48 hours already on the clock, the hopes of finding the teenager alive were swiftly dwindling.

Sara was running over the slim amount of trace evidence again, trying to make her tired eyes see something that could break the case wide open. Her neck was cramped from sitting over a microscope for to long and her coffee had long ago grown cold. She looked up and over at the case-board they'd put together. Innocence Parker was only the latest in a string of cases. Kidnapped girls, none had been found yet. The cases were stringed together by MO and an unidentified DNA sample that they believed to belong to the kidnapper. They had manic parents demanding results, screaming for their daughter's return. The AMBER alert had died down, no one had seen or heard from the young girl since Friday night when she'd left a friend's party by herself.

She rolled her shoulders, trying to work out ever-present kinks from her too stiff muscles. She picked up her coffee cup and took a walk, stretching her legs as she went to the break room to get what might have been her twenty-fifth cup of coffee since she'd caught the case. She could see her fellow CSIs through the glass walls of the lab. Nick was looking at video-footage from an ATM camera on the girl's route home. In the DNA lab, she could see Warrick in deep conversation with Wendy. Catherine was standing in the door of her office, on her phone, most likely talking to or about Lindsey. The victim attended Lindsey's school and both of the Willows women were shaken by the kidnapping.

In the break room, she poured herself a cup of coffee, it was some supermarket brand and not Greg's forty dollar a pound brew. Sara sighed and took a drink, letting the caffeinated liquid slide down her throat. She closed her eyes and ran the specifics of the case through her head, trying to find that elusive little clue that would help them rescue a terrified and traumatized teenager.

* * *

The break came around four am. There had been a ripped piece of paper in the dashboard of a vehicle that had been abandoned out in the desert. It matched the description of the vehicle used to abduct one of the girls and they'd found hair in the trunk that was a DNA match to Innocence Parker.

Sara, since her specialty was trace and elements analysis, was working the paper. She had tested it for acid content and the ink for telling markers and pigments. She waited impatiently for the results. The font of the page number in the lower right hand corner was also unique and Sara couldn't help but feel that she'd seen it somewhere before.

* * *

Sara saw Catherine coming her way long before the blonde had arrived at her preferred out-of-the-way lab. "Sara, do you have those results yet?" Sara held back her smart remarks, it was tough, but she did it. She knew Catherine was shaken up by the case, but that was no reason to take it out on her...not that it made a difference to Catherine. Sara was her favorite lab scape-goat. Their work-relationship had never been...very stable and as to their personal relationship...Sara doubted Catherine trusted or liked her as far as the petite woman could throw her. Sara ran her hands through her dark hair, "Not yet." She saw the telling signs in Catherine's blue eyes, she was about to blow off some steam and Sara was a convenient target.

"Sara we're working against the clock, can't you work any faster? Christ, there's a little girl out there!" Sara's already frayed nerves wore down a little more, "You think I don't know that! I can't make the damn computer go any faster! I'll page you when I get the results, until then go pester someone else!" She turned her back on the woman who was technically her superior. She could feel twin blue lasers burning holes in her back, but the tell-tale heel clicks going down the hall signaled that Catherine had, for once, taken her advice and left her alone.

* * *

The computer spit out results and Sara began pouring through the scattered databases. The font of the number was nagging at her. It was like having a song stuck in your head but not knowing who sang it, the title or where you heard it.

She regarded the print outs in her hand. Considering the grade of the paper, the acid content, the ink pigments and the weight...they were looking at a magazine. She traced, through records and standards inspections to a small printing company in Chicago. From there, she got the exact title of magazine. The font had been the deciding factor. The magazine wasn't exactly one to keep on the coffee table. It could be bought, however in any local pornography store. Well, it had been in the eighties. The title of the sterling publication was 'Barely Legal'.

Sara pushed the disgust and panic down back into her throat. Acid churned in her stomach and her hands shook. She did the work, though, she tracked down the old office and through a series of phone calls between the CPD and a judge, she got the subscriber records. It was, she knew, a long shot. Had their perp subscribed to a magazine in the eighties and was the address he'd given still viable? Was she chasing a large rabbit around a maze-like dead-ended warren?

Fate, evidence or maybe just plain old dumb luck, smiled down on the Vegas Forensics team and they got a hit. They'd traced the names, a long a tedious process, down to three. One had died in 1995, one was serving a five year sentence in a New Mexico prison and one was a janitor at the school that all the missing girls...and Lindsey attended, Wallace Harris. The ink was barely dry on the warrant when the SWAT team saddled up to rescue Innocence and take down Harris.


	3. Chapter II: Saving Innocence

_Chapter II_

_Saving Innocence_

There was a crash from the front. Innocence heard shouts. Some one had found her. She opened her mouth to scream, but the man's hand came over her mouth. She bit down and then his hand slammed into her head, knocking her down. From her position on the floor, she saw what happened. A blonde woman with a gun came through the door. "WALLACE HARRIS! HANDS UP!" Though her world was spinning, Innocence, could see him. He looked from the woman to her and back again. "Don't think about it, Harris. Give yourself up." He raised his hands, and Innocence saw the silvery glint of his very sharp knife. Her mouth moved without her brain signaling it to. "HE'S GOT A KNIFE!" Harris let out a feral scream and lunged at the blonde. There was a series of booms, gunshots, and the man dropped the knife, then he dropped to his knees. He was dead. Innocence lay on the floor, his blood had splatted all over her. The blonde woman quickly came to her side. "It's okay. It's over now. My name is Sofia and I'm a police officer..." The woman, the cop, Sofia's words echoed in Innocence's mind. "It's over now."

* * *

Sara sat at the lab, she heard the operation play out over a Police radio. She smiled a bit, but the grin didn't reach her eyes. She knew that her work had saved a teenager...but it was a somewhat bittersweet victory. The case had dug up some...things from her past. Things that were best left there, buried by time and defense mechanisms. A gnawing fear ate at the lining of her stomach. If someone found out...she would have to leave Vegas. She wouldn't be able to stand their stares, the gossip, the humiliation. It saddened her, she'd finally begun to really fit-in here. She'd found her stride and had finally become comfortable with it. The idea of leaving Vegas wasn't pretty...but staying if they found out...that was worse.

* * *

Nick moved his flashlight around the basement. "I've got recently disturbed soil...bring the shovels..." The Texan sighed, "I'm afraid we just found the other girls."

They had. Four girls, aged twelve to seventeen, all dead. He'd buried them in shallow graves in his basement.


	4. Chapter III: XXX Evidence

_Chapter III _

_XXX Evidence_

Greg Sanders opened the top drawer of one of Harris's filing cabinets. Each folder had a month and a year on it. He leafed through them and his eyes widened. Five filing cabinets and it the first drawer was any indication, he was looking at the largest and meticulously organized collection of pornography he'd ever seen in his life…and it was all evidence.

"Hey Griss!" His boss came over with a slightly perturbed expression on his face. "Yes, Greg?" "I think I hit the mother-load."

* * *

Sara Sidle watched the young girl when she was reunited with her parents. Sofia Curtis stood to the side, watching as well, a small smile played across her face. Despite the fact that many girls had lost their lives...they'd saved this one. Wallace Harris had killed four other girls, they'd found the bodies in shallow graves in his basement. Four sets of parents would never be happily reunited with their girls.

The case had cut into all involved. Catherine was anxious to get home to her own daughter...Brass had a morose look in his eyes that only appeared when he thought about his daughter...and Sara...

Sara could feel the demons of her past breathing down her neck. All she wanted to do was close the case and go home. She wanted to forget again. She prayed that she would be able to bury it all again...before it destroyed everything she'd worked so hard for.

* * *

Jim Brass watched Sara Sidle work, cataloging the immense amount of evidence they'd brought from the scene. Something was bothering the young woman...more then usual. He wasn't sure what it was...but he hoped she would be okay, there were no answers at the bottom of the bottle.

* * *

"Where are you?" The magazines had notes in the margins, ideas, plans. He'd used the naked pictures to add fuel to his rapist's fire. Porn, hard porn. Some of it was legal, other parts weren't. The man had more kiddie-porn then Catherine had seen in all of her career. She looked over at Nick. "June 1988." Warrick looked up, "I've got July." Nick sighed and picked up the August edition of 'Barely Legal' Magazine. He scowled as he flipped through the pages, "This has got to be the weirdest case I've ever se…" Nick's words floated off mid-sentence and his eyes grew wide. He shook his head, he blinked, he twisted his neck around, but the image stayed the same. Both Warrick and Catherine looked at him, "What is it, Nicky?" He coughed, "I…it's uh…" Catherine stood and walked around behind the CSI and when her eyes fell on the page she could not control the gasp. "That can't…no way…no way." Warrick stood too and looked over Nick's other shoulder, his mouth fell open as well.

* * *

Grissom came in, all three of the CSIs were staring at a single magazine silently. "What have we got?" He pulled the magazine from Nick's lax hands and promptly froze when his eyes fell on the page. 


	5. Chapter IV: Familiar Faces

_Chapter IV_

_Familiar Faces_

The magazines centerfold was spread out on a bed of creme colored silk. Her long lithe body was nude and made up of hard muscular planes and soft, womanly curves. A bellybutton piercing and a few strategically placed tattoos enhanced the smooth pale skin. Her arms were stretched over her head, her hands tangled in pale silk and long dark hair. Scarlet tinted lips were parted and her tongue delicately crossed white, gapped teeth. Powerful dark eyes with a naughty spark in them completed the picture. Lying before them on the page, looking like a primitive sex goddess was a young and very naked Sara Sidle.

With trembling hands, Grissom turned the page. The sleek brunette was there sporting what was supposed to be some kind of school uniform. She leaned against a desk with her legs spread and her shirt unbuttoned, showing everything. On the opposite page was Sara in the most X rated shot yet. There were two other women, a blonde and a redhead…

Grissom slammed the magazine shut and sent a glare to his team. No one, not even Catherine Willows knew what to say. Grissom's carefully controlled voice cut through the silence. "What year is this magazine from?" His pulse had long since gone past 95. Catherine, the bravest among the three looked at him. "August 1988." The sudden infusion of red into Grissom's face made Catherine want to jump. "What's the matter Grissom?" His hands had clenched into fists around the magazine. "Grissom that's evidence." He glared at her and said nothing.

Suddenly Nick understood. "Oh my God." Catherine turned to look at him, "What?" The Texan took a deep breathe and ran his hands through his dark hair. "I turned 17 in August of '88…Sara's a month younger then me…" Catherine's mouth dropped open and she unconsciously repeated the Texan, "Oh God…that means." Grissom glared at the magazine, still crumpled in his hands. "She was sixteen."

Author's Note: Aaaand Sara's secret is out. Now before you disregard this fic as compete and utter smut and a waste of your time... I assure you, this is more then some kind of OOC flight of fancy excuse to get Sara naked. Honestly, if I wanted her naked, she'd be naked and I'd be able to do it without slaughtering the characters (more than I usually do at least). So sit back and wait, this is going to be a long and twisted ride, looking into Sara's past.

Coincidently, I don't quite recall where I found the information, but Sara's birthday is listed, somewhere, as September 17, 1971. Did some simple math to get these dates...all 80s styles, fads and information may or may not be accurate...I have a very limited memory of the eighties...as I was born in 1986.

Oh and on an additional note. If there is indeed some kind of magazine or website bearing the name of 'Barely Legal' I certainly do not own it and the use of the name is sheer coincidence and it's use in no way reflects the history of practices of any real life organization or magazine, etc, baring the same name. All right, now for more story.


	6. Chapter V: Stripped

_Chapter V_

_Stripped_

Sara poked her head into the lay out room where everyone else was standing. "Hey, I just got the reports on... they're...guys?" Evidence in the form of pornography was spread all over the table. She cocked her head to the side, trying to get a look at the dates of the magazines. A bead of cold sweat slid down her back, sending goosebumps all over her body. "Guys did Greg's locker explode?" Her attempt at humor fell flat. Grissom turned to face her and she saw what everyone was looking at. In his gloved hands was a magazine she thought she'd never see again. That she'd prayed she'd never see again...that they shouldn't be seeing...that they couldn't be seeing. "Oh God." Nick looked at her. "Sara?" She wished she had an explanation, an excuse, a twin, even. She did not. That was her, in all of her glory, sans clothes, sans inhibitions. The lab went silent, the tension was so thick, it was becoming hard to breathe.

Everyone was staring at her. She didn't blame them. There she was, naked on a page...and standing here. "Um."

Gil Grissom stared at her. His blue eyes bored strait into her brown ones. "Would you like...Can you explain...What is the meaning..." It would have been funny, seeing the completely controlled Etymologist stuttering and staring at her with a gaping mouth...but the situation made it less funny and more gut-wrenching.

Nick stood, looking at her. "Sara?" She looked at them, all of them. She didn't know what to do. She could feel the beginnings of a panic attack growing in her chest. Her lungs seized up, she couldn't breathe. She felt her knees go weak. She grabbed the edge of the door for support. "I...I..." She couldn't face them. "I've gotta go." She unceremoniously turned on her heel and fled the Crime Lab...at top speed.

* * *

Catherine Willows stood there. She was still trying to absorb what had just happened. Sara had stood there, pale and her big brown eyes wide...to use a cliché, she looked exactly like a deer in the head lights. Her blue eyes followed the younger woman out of the room. She glanced back at the magazine in Grissom's hands. Sara Sidle, the enigma of the Vegas Crime Lab...a porn star...a victim... Catherine looked at the still shell-shocked Gilbert Grissom. "Well?" Grissom blinked, but said nothing. 


	7. Chapter VI: Two Sharp Women

_Chapter VI_

_Two Sharp Women_

Catherine had known from the day that Sara Sidle had walked in the door...She'd known that there was something about the brunette. At first, she'd been the intruder. She'd had the brass balls to come to their house and investigate them. She'd been Grissom's pet. Later, she'd been a rival, a younger, smarter, more athletic, more innovative then Catherine. She'd treated like the threat she'd perceived Sara to be. Sara, super CSI. Sara-Holier-Than-Thou-Art-Sidle. Then Sara had closed Eddie's case. That had lead to a whole new set of problems between the two of them. Every time they took a step forwards, towards a better relationship...or dare she think it, friendship, something happened and they were thrown back to the beginning again.

She found Sara outside, sitting in her Denali, not moving. Catherine tapped on the window. Inside the vehicle, Sara jumped. She'd obviously had not been expecting anyone to follow her out...or if she did, Catherine wasn't the CSI she'd been expecting. That was too bad, because Catherine knew that she was the one that needed to talk to Sara. She understood what Sara was facing down...well, sort of. In 1988, she'd been peeling it off for money, most of which had gone up her nose. She and Sara, sisters in the sex industry...who knew they had so much in common after all?

* * *

Sara opened the SUV's door and stepped out. Her voice was low, but it held steady. "What?" Catherine let out a breathe. "I was wondering if you needed someone to talk to." Sara shrugged. "Not much talking needed, you've got your evidence." Catherine shrugged one shoulder and tossed her hair, "Sometimes it's not all about evidence." Sara looked at her, the woman's deep brown eyes were like caves, deep and full of secrets. "You don't have to do this. I don't need your pity." The brunette woman's voice was full of venom. The kind that usually flowed so freely with Catherine's words.

She wasn't quite sure why, but her own words echoed back to the strawberry blonde CSI. "When the spirit moves you...which in your case, will be never." That was what she was looking at. A CSI who all but hated her. Now she wanted Sara to spill her story? No matter if the woman was hurt or not...and Sara was definitely hurting...Catherine Willows took guff from no one. "Good because I'm not here to give you pity. I'm here to offer a kind ear." Sara looked her, mouth twisted into a sneer. "A kind ear? From you? Since when?" Catherine knew that on some level she did deserve Sara's mistrust...but she didn't like taking it. She opened her mouth to fire back a barb...but something in Sara's eyes stopped her. Sara's dark eyes were full of something that Catherine had never associated with the dedicated woman, fear.

Catherine pushed her hand through her hair. "You're going to have to tell someone, Sara. Why not me?"

* * *

Sara sighed, Catherine was standing there, waiting for her to spill her guts. She was surprised. Of all the CSIs Catherine was both the best and the worst person to have this talk with. "Well, if I'm going to have this conversation, it's not going to be in a parking lot." Catherine nodded, "Well, then lets go grab some lunch and have a chat." Somehow a "chat" sounded much more ominous then it should have.

* * *

In the diner, Sara stared down at her plate, and chased the food around with her fork. Across from her, Catherine waited patiently, something that was out of character for her. Sara wondered when the other shoe was going to drop. Catherine let it drop. "So, you want to tell me what's going on?" Sara wondered if Catherine used the same tone of voice with Lindsey...if she did, she understood why the girl couldn't get away with anything.

Sara sighed, "I don't know where to start." Catherine smiled, her blue eyes twinkled a bit. "The beginning is always good."


	8. Chapter VII: The Begining

_Chapter VII_

_The Beginning_

Sara took a sip of her coffee, she wanted something stronger. She sighed and closed her eyes. "It all started when I was sent to a new foster home...I went into the system when I was about 13, never got back out...so I had just turned 16...

* * *

_San Fransisco_

_1988_

"_Sara Sidle, age sixteen. Ran away from Tamales Bay foster home approximately two months ago. Nothing on her rap sheet and nothing with her but this bag." Sara hated the way the cop handed her to the social worker. Like she was a piece of meat, or a dog at a show...or a burden. They were both cogs in the machine that was the California Family and Children Services System... The System. She did her best to look uninterested. She stared out of the small office's window and kept her face still and quiet. Yes, she'd run away from Tamales Bay. There was only so many looks one girl could take. In Tamales Bay she was marked. She would forever be the girl who's mother stabbed her father to death. At least in San Fransisco she was another nameless face stuck in a failing system._

_The bored and undistinguished social worker looked her over. "Thank you, Burke. We'll take her from here." When the cop left, it was just the two of them. "Take a seat, Sara." It was the first time he'd addressed her by name...or at all. She cocked an eyebrow, "I prefer to stand." Usually that statement was a good way of gaging people. How they reacted to that told her how they were overall, usually at least. He shrugged, obviously he'd peaked and burnt out years ago. "Well, Sara. We're going to get a foster home lined up for you..." Then he opened her file up. Within five minutes he was looking at her differently, his flat green eyes had gone wide...and people wondered why she'd run. She'd been taking care of herself just fine too. She'd still be out and about, if the cops hadn't raided the warehouse she'd been squatting in. They'd been looking for coke-heads, she'd just been sleeping._

_She was vaguely surprised to see that the San Fransisco Family Services Office had gone to computers. The office back in Tamales Bay had still relied on dead trees. So Mr. Dwighten tapped a few keys and suddenly she was just another bit of digital memory. "Well, I've found a placement for you. Good school and a pretty good neighborhood. You're lucky, you know." Yeah, that's what they all said, she was lucky._

_So she waited in an uncomfortable chair in the hall, staring into space. Mr. Dwighten had told her that if she ran again, they'd label her as a habitual, which would land her in a group home...or Juvenile Hall. Since she'd heard more then one horror story about Juvie, she figured that if she ran again, she just wouldn't get caught again. Her new foster family...the Rogers. She was being fostered by Mr. And Mrs. Rogers. It was fricking ridiculous._

* * *

Sara blinked, bringing herself back to the present. Her coffee had grown cold. Catherine looked at her, the other woman's blue eyes were unreadable for the moment. Sara shrugged under her scrutiny. "Let's just say it wasn't such a beautiful day in the neighborhood for me." 


	9. Chapter VIII: Meet the Rogers

_Chapter VIII_

_Meet the Rogers_

"What most people don't understand about The System is that while most foster parents are good people with good families and support systems...some aren't."

_She watched two people come down the hall and go into Dwighten's office. She immediately started sizing them up. The man was a cookie-cutter business man, three piece suit and a otter-slick hair style. His wife was the image of a exec's woman. She too sported a business suit and perfectly coiffed hair. Sara knew the type immediately. She was a status symbol to them. 'Oh look how good and kind we are. We're foster parents.' She shrugged, she'd certainly seen worse. As long as they kept their distance, and didn't try to smother her with 'understanding' or rules she would be fine. From the looks of Mr. and Mrs. Corporate America, being smothered was definitely not a big concern._

_Sure enough, when they did come out to see her, she could see right through their plastic smiles. She pinned the man as the instigator, he actually looked like he cared. The woman was obviously the more reluctant...she was an Ice Queen. "Hello Sara. I'm Robert and this is my wife Anna." She nodded. "Hello." He smiled, "Well, then, lets get you to your new home." Sara didn't miss the slight look of disgust go across Anna's face. _

_The Rogers home was in one of the historic areas of San Fransisco. It was nice, pretty Sara immediately felt out of place and very plain. Her room was on the second floor and she got her own bathroom. She wasn't sure how she'd lucked out and gotten the swanky placement, but she immediately decided that she wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize it. _

_Robert Rogers smiled at her. "Well, Sara, I've gotta go back to work, but Anna will get you all settled in and explain the rules and everything. It's good to have you, kid." She nodded and watched him descend down the stairs. She heard the door shut and turned to Anna. Sara knew very well that this woman wielded the power here. _

_She was curvy, blonde and sophisticated, three things that Sara would never be. "So Sara, the rules are very simple. We feed you, clothe you, send you to school. You Do. Not. Cause. Any. Trouble. I know exactly how much money is in my purse and my jewelry is kept in a safe." Sara's back went stiff. "I'm no thief." A blonde eyebrow arched, "No, none of you are." She shrugged, "I find you stealing, drinking or doing drugs I'll throw you back faster then you could blink." The woman's face was dark, hard, dangerous. Suddenly it softened, "My son, Ethan is coming to dinner tonight, you'll be expected to attend. It's a seven in the dining room." With that, Anna Rogers turned on her spiked heel and left Sara standing there. All in all, Sara had been in much worse situations. The Rogers she could handle._

_Seven o'clock rolled around, and Sara looked down the hall. She'd unpacked the few things she owned, an extra set of clothes, a small pocket knife and a paper back copy of King's _The Stand_. With nothing left to do...and no clothes that could be considered formal, she headed down stairs to have her first fully interactive event with her new foster family._

"_And here she is. Ethan, this is Sara, Sara this is Ethan." When she caught sight of the boy, no he was a man, Sara's breathe caught for just a second. He had blonde hair, green eyes and was dressed like someone who'd just stepped out of a fashion advertisement. "Hi." Ethan grinned, "Hey there, Sara." _

Sara looked out the window, at the floor, anywhere but at her dining companion. "In retrospect, there was something off about him...I should have seen it, my survival skills should have kicked in, but they didn't. I felt safe, which was a mistake I wouldn't make again for a long, long time."

* * *

Catherine watched Sara closely, her brown eyes were distant and clouded with pain. Sara had been in the System...something had happened in her young life...something bad. She hadn't mentioned it, she obviously wanted to keep some secrets. Sara had given her the set-up, now she was about to get to the meat and potatoes of the tale. While Sara paused, Catherine took stock of what she knew so far. Sara had been young, impressionable and very lost. At the moment, her mother's instinct was to go and hunt down this Anna Rogers and throttle her. Sara had needed compassion, not suspicion. She signaled the waitress for another coffee and settled back, Sara's last words haunted her, "I felt safe, which was a mistake I wouldn't make again for a long, long time." Feeling safe wasn't a mistake, dammit. She wanted to, despite all of their problems, hug the younger woman. She wanted Sara to know, beyond the shadow of a doubt that she was safe now. 


	10. Chapter IX: Voyeurism

_Chapter IX_

_Voyeurism_

Grissom had shut himself in his office. Nick and Warrick stood there, looking over he magazines, not sure of what to do. Catherine had gone after Sara...and at any moment Greg, Sofia and Brass would be back and expecting answers. "What are we supposed to do, 'Rick?" The dark CSI shook his head, "I don't know...this isn't exactly in the CSI handbook." "We can't let Ecklie see this stuff." "We can't let anyone see this stuff." They both knew though, that hiding it was not possible. It was evidence, no matter who was portrayed.

Their silent musings were interrupted by the return of the rest of the team. Greg looked around, "Woah. What's going on?" Sofia, always sharp, quickly caught onto the fact that something was wrong. "Where is everybody?" Warrick looked to Nick, and Nick stared back at him. They had to know...but God, why did it have to be them that shared the news? "Jim, Greg, Sofia...you might want to sit down..."

* * *

Detective Jim Brass turned his head, away from the magazine. "His thoughts swirled incoherently in his head. He'd always known that Sara had something in her past that bothered her. There were deep shadows in her sad brown eyes that had never fully been explained. Some bastard had used Sara when she was sixteen. Sixteen, such a soft age. Personally, he wanted to hunt down who was responsible and kill them...even if it had been almost twenty years ago...he was a detective, he could find them. "Put that stuff away, boys, no onewants to see it." Nick and Warrick looked grateful.

* * *

Greg had always made jokes, cracks and innuendos...but he'd never wanted to see Sara like this...she had been a kid. It was Sara...but not. Many things occurred to him at once. Why had Catherine gone after her? Catherine and Sara didn't get along. How were they going to keep this under wraps? Was Sara okay? He sighed and ran his hand through his spiked hair. 

It was obvious why Catherine had gone after Sara. Catherine had...experience...with this kind of thing...sort of. Was Sara okay? Greg knew that no, she was not. Despite their banter, she'd been really and seriously freaked when she'd been forced to take that HazMat shower with him. How to keep it under wraps? He was no good at cloak and dagger operations, but this could not get out. Ecklie was just looking for a reason to get rid of Sara. Plus, he didn't like the idea of Ecklie leering at Sara, not in real life and certainly not on the page.

* * *

Sofia Curtis was definitely in a state of shock. Sara...Sidle...Naked...Pretty. When her brain was reduced to cave woman standards...something was wrong...or terribly right. No. Wrong. Very wrong. Bad Sofia. Besides the point of Sara being a coworker...she was a female coworker. This wasn't 30 some odd years old Sara, this was Sara at sixteen. She should not be attracted to High School Sara. Despite all of the important and glaring facts...she was definitely attracted. Okay, cutting through the poetry, she was turned on...nearly to the point of drooling. 

She was going to hell in a hand basket drenched with gasoline so she'd burn all the faster. That didn't mean however, that she could let anyone know...it was...unprofessional. She would have to...get over it. Though, the naked pictures were not helping in that department. She sighed and rested her head on her hand. She reminded herself once more that this wasn't Sara. This was kiddie porn.

When the magazines were taken away, her brain regained the ability to think cohesively. That's when the anger set in. The all consuming vengeance hungry anger. "I don't know about the rest of you...but I feel like hunting down these 'Barely Legal' bastards and putting their heads on pikes."

Gil Grissom stood in the doorway, "I think we can refrain from violence, as the people who did this are still in jail."

Five heads jerked up and swiveled around, the statement was together and vehment. "Good."

Author's Note: Sara fears that everyone will shun her. As we can see, the CSIs are up in arms, ready to go to war for her. Talk about protective... And as for Sofia...I actually debated putting that part in there. I don't know, it seems to detract from the over all seriousness of the plot...but I wanted to portray that yes, this is pornography very alluring pornography and it does effect the on-lookers. Though, conscious kicks in and our dear Detective Curtis has guilt...and anger. Grissom is...well, he's Grissom. He won't reveal his thoughts or feelings and I'm not inclined to break his character to do so...but from what we saw, he appears to be highly upset...trust me here, he's pissed. Brass has his 'Papa Bear' act going on and all three of the boys are being very brotherly. Sara, as it seems, has more loyal friends then she knows. Hooray.


	11. Chapter X: Fitting In and Going Out

_Chapter X_

_Fitting In and Going Out_

_Sara had never had a problem with school. Okay, so she was smart. So smart that when she took her placement test for her new school, the principal asked to see her personally. She was leery of authority figures, it came with the territory, really, it did. This specific authority figure didn't seem too bad though. Gina Torres was an imposing figure. She was dressed in no-nonsense suit and carried herself with more power then her compact frame could have possibly possessed. Her hardened face told Sara that she'd dealt with trouble before and could handle herself. Her dark gaze went strait through her. The woman sat down behind her desk. She got strait to the point. "Sara, you've actually tested out of our Senior Honors classes." She blinked, "That's good, right?" The woman's carefully shaped eyebrows quirked, "Sara, it's amazing. A sophomore has never done so well. To be frank, I don't think I've ever seen a senior do this well." Sara squirmed in her seat, the praise didn't sit well with her. "So?" Ms. Torres smiled, "Well, I've spoken to your guidance councilor and we've decided to place you in our very prestigious AP program. You'll be taking college level classes here in high school. It's one of the newest programs here in San Fransisco, very cutting edge._

* * *

_Sara was on her bed, sitting with her long legs crossed, staring down at the AP Calculus book. She pushed her mouse-brown hair back behind her ears and frowned at the page. She'd never been in such a challenging class. For the first time...ever she was going to have to apply herself and study. It was...nice. A knock at the door made her look up. There, leaning in the door was Ethan. She felt the blood rush to her face. "Oh...hi...Ethan." He grinned, "Hey there, Sara." She felt a giggle bubble up in her throat. "So what are you doing?" She smiled, "Studying." He came closer. She could smell his aftershave. "Wow. Calculus. I thought you're like in tenth grade, you must be like a genius." Forget her cheeks, Sara felt a whole-body blush coming over her. "I just did good on that placement test." Ethan grinned, "I wish you could have taken my SATs for me, I wouldn't have even needed to go to college." Sara felt herself grinning again. Ethan was in college...and he was talking to her. Sara Sidle, sixteen year old plain and simple Sara. "Well, I gotta go, but hey, this weekend a few of my friends and I are getting together out at the Bay side lodge, you should come with me...I'll show you around, introduce you to a few people." She found herself nodding and he walked out. "See you around, Sara." As soon as he was gone, she felt herself collapse against the bed. "Wow."_

* * *

Catherine grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Wait. College...College, this guy was in college? How old was he?" Sara winced, "Twenty-three." Catherine's mouth fell open for a minute. "You were sixteen!" "Save your outrage, Cath, the story gets worse before it gets better...oh and you know this is...ah really personal...I was wondering..." Catherine squeezed her wrist. "This is just between us." Sara nodded, and took a deep breathe. She didn't want to go on, but she was too far in to turn back now. She could feel the white hot burn of shame in her stomach and the different burn of Catherine's intense blue eyes on her. If she met the other woman's eyes she knew the look she'd see. It would be Catherine's intense face, the one she wore when she was interrogating a suspect or figuring out a complex piece of evidence. The scrutiny made Sara want to disappear, but physics wouldn't allow her to.

* * *

_She looked at herself in the mirror. She was too tall, too gangly, too thin...too plain. Her brown hair wasn't remarkable and her mud-brown eyes were ugly. She smiled, then frowned immediately. The gap between her teeth made her look like a cartoon character. She was going to embarrasses Ethan, she just knew it. She looked over the clothes she was wearing. Anna had given her money to go shopping because her clothes were "reprehensible and utterly un-presentable" Sara's tastes were, however, very simple. She was wearing a simple pair of stone washed jeans and a blue crop top. She grinned, the stomach baring shirt revealed something she'd gotten while on her two month "street vacation" Her naval was pierced. She hoped Ethan liked it. With one last look in the mirror, she left her room._

_Ethan was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. He let out a whistle. "Wow, you clean up nice, Sara." She grinned, "You're not so bad yourself." He threw his arm around her waist, "Well come on then, we've got a party to get to."_

* * *

_The party was full of people. Grunge music poured out of over sized speakers and the beer never stopped flowing. Sara was leery of alcohol but every time her cup got low, Ethan refilled it. Ethan was drinking more then her, though. His Frat brothers cheered him on to chug beer after beer. Sara felt out of place and very young...if this was college, well she wasn't sure if it was for her or not. She was happy, however, to be there with Ethan. He was so great. He kept his arm around her the whole time...he'd even called her 'sweetheart' a couple of times. Allot of the college girls were giving her dirty looks since Ethan was with her and all but ignoring them. It made Sara smile. Ethan was there with her. Around two am the party started to wind down, people had either paired off and moseyed along, or had found a convenient flat surface to pass out on. Sara was unstable on her feet, but Ethan's arm around her kept her from falling. He leaned in close, "Hey, let's get out of here." His hot breathe tickled her ear and she let out a giggle. "'Kay." They stumbled back to his Trans Am. Ethan fumbled with his keys for a minute then they slid into the low slung car. Somewhere between the party and home, his arm went across her shoulder. They were sitting at a red light when he made THE move. He leaned in and planted what was, in retrospect, a very sloppy kiss. He grinned at her. "I've been wanting to do that all night. All the guys were jealous of me. I had the hottest girl at the party. Sara smiled, "Really?" He chuckled, "Yeah. I mean you're not like the other girls. You're smart, funny, and you've got that great smile." He leaned in for another kiss and Sara knew she was in love._

Author's Note: Now, before the foul reviews start flowing in, lemme explain. Sara may seem OOC here...but everyone think about this for a minute. This isn't Super CSI Sara Sidle. This is 16 year old confused and lost Sara Sidle. A few "caring" words from a cute older guy and yes, she 'falls in love'. So is she in character? Possibly. As to Catherine. Hey give me a button, she's not a bitch! Also, a note on Foster families and the Foster care system. No, this representation of it is not kind, but neither is it standard. Most Foster parents are kind, well meaning people who make a difference in their worlds by taking in children who do not have a loving home of their own. While I feel that the current system is flawed, it is by no means completely ineffective and I salute all foster parents and social workers...Now that I've disclaimed myself and hopefully unruffled some feathers...now we get down to the reason this fic is rated M... Please prepare yourself for some strong content in the next chapter... really really strong adult content.


	12. Chapter XI: First Time

_Chapter XI_

_First Time_

Sara sighed and pushed her hand through her hair. She could feel every word catching in her throat. The impulse to run was stronger then ever...but. Catherine was holding her hand and blue eyes held her own brown. The woman's face was soft and caring, it was what Sara had always called 'the mother look' and it had never before been shown for her. Sara closed her eyes against the woman's look. Catherine wasn't going to be looking at her like that for much longer...

* * *

_It had been a month since the party and every day, Ethan had dropped by just to see her every day. Sometimes he brought flowers and once he brought a brand new telescope just for her and they'd sat out and he'd pointed out the stars to her. It was very romantic...but...sometimes his hands wandered down to her butt...or to her chest...it made her...uncomfortable. She'd seen what could happen when a girl let herself get too involved with a guy. She'd seen a girl bleed out from a bad turn with a coat hanger. She could still smell the blood when the nightmares creeped up on her. She'd watched the working girls come in after long nights, they always stank of smoke and sin. It wouldn't be like that with Ethan, though. Ethan loved her...but she'd still rather not lose her virginity...yet._

_One night, Ethan's parents were out and he was in her room. They were laying on her bed, he'd thrown her books to the side and had announced that they were going to watch a movie marathon. He had _A Nightmare on Elm Street I – III_. The pointless violence of the movies made her wish she was studying her Chemistry. Freddie Kruger was hacking his way through scantily clad teenagers' dreams and Ethan kept getting closer. By the time Nancy had made her entrance to the third film as a heroic example of Deus ex Machina, Ethan's hands had crawled all the way under her shirt and kept slipping under her bra cups. She wanted desperately to move his hands...but she didn't. _

_When the credits began to roll, after most of the teenagers were dead and Freddy had once again been banished, he rolled over on top of her. "Hey there, hot stuff." She grinned at him. "Hey Ethan...the movies over." He grinned, "The VCR has automatic rewind on it...let it play." He started raining kisses down on her. She wriggled around. "Chill out, Ethan." He looked at her, his green eyes hot and animalsitic, "C'mon, Sara, we're just having a little bit of fun. Stop being such a cock tease." He pinned her wrists to the mattress with his much larger hands and shifted so he was all the way on top of her. She could feel the all too_ _noticeable __bulge in his jeans and she wiggled around, trying to get out from under him. "Okay,Ethan, it's not funny anymore." He leaned over her, "It's not supposed to be funny. I'm just trying to show you how much I love you, Sara."_

_Despite her reluctance, he'd said he loved her. Ethan Loved Her. He'd said it. She could feel her heart slamming into her chest and she smiled nervously. "I-I-love you too, Ethan." He kissed her, and moved his hands to the fly of her jeans. She bit her lip. "O-okay." He pulled her shirt off of her arms and gave her a feral grin. _

_For the rest of her life, Sara would remember her first time in flashes of slick skin, grunts, a bruising grip and a tearing pain that had kept her sore for a few days after._

_Later, he'd rolled off of her and left. Left her there, alone. She'd changed the sheets...that were spotted with blood and...and his...his...semen. Tears flowed down her cheeks and she stumbled into her shower. She turned the taps on...as hot as they would go and sank down into the tub. She let the scalding water rain down on her...but it wouldn't wash it away, couldn't wash him off of her._

* * *

Sara roughly wiped her eyes, trying valiantly not to let Catherine see her cry. It was pointless, though, because sliding down Catherine's cheek was a tear of her own. "Oh Sara."

Author's Note: No, I do not own _A Nightmare on Elm Street I, II or III_. Nor do I own any characters there of. The sadistic and perverted Freddie Kruger sprang forth from the twisted mind of Wes Craven.


	13. Chapter XII: Use and Abuse

_Chapter XII_

_Use and Abuse_

_He stopped coming over so much, but every time he saw her, he'd drag her off somewhere and they'd do it again. Was that was love was? If this was love, she wasn't sure she liked it. They went to more parties, but they were all the same. Drinking, and sometimes there were drugs, and they always had sex._

_One day, they were in the back of Ethan's car on a bluff that overlooked the bay. It was a very romantic view, or it would have been...if she'd been able to see the front instead of the back. He ran his hands through her hair,"Hey Sara...I've been thinking...I've given you a lot of great gifts." She nodded and ran her fingers along the small gold chain he'd given her right after the first time they'd... She just kept nodding her head. "Well, I've been thinking..."_

* * *

Sara sighed, and looked away from Catherine. "He wanted me to pose...for some pictures, just for him. He said he had a friend that was a profesional photographer. Silly me, I was thinking something along the lines of Glamour shots...obviously not. It was stupid, really.

* * *

_She stood in the middle of the hotel suite. "Ethan...I don't..." He grinned that lop-sided grin at her. "C'mon, Sara, you're beautiful and there just for me." She nodded, "Well...I guess." She started to take off her top..._

_The other guy there, a skinny man with a camera positioned her on the bed. "Now put your hands up. That's right, you're sexy, you're gorgeous, now...yes that's it. He started taking photos. The flash made Sara's eyes hurt and she was cold...and naked. She was doing this to keep Ethan. An hour or two later, she was numb. No matter what position she was in, who else was there...who else was touching her... It was all...the same. Ethan kept watching, leering at her. He was drinking and flirting with another girl. "Just one more set of pictures, Sara." She wondered how Ethan could afford all of this...but somehow it didn't matter anymore._

_Ethan stopped coming around after that. Every time he was around, he ignored her. She had dropped off his radar. Until...one day he came into her room. She jumped up, overjoyed to see him again. "ETHAN! What are you doing here!" He grinned, "Just thought I'd let you see this." He handed her a big brown envelope. She opened it up. "Ethan?" She didn't understand. He grinned again, "Turn to the center, Hot Stuff." With trembling hands, she did. The image that met her eyes... It assaulted her senses. She felt ice cold terror and fiery hot shame wash over her in overpowering waves. "Oh God...God no. Ethan you said they were just..." She sat on her bed hard. "Why?" _

_She looked up at Ethan. He looked the same, but he wasn't. The soft, romantic boy she thought she'd fallen in love with just wasn't there. He'd probably never been there. She'd been played. Played like a fool. _

_He came closer, "Why the hell not?" When his hands fell onto her thigh, she batted it away. "Get out of my room and go to Hell, Ethan." His hands clamped down on her thighs. "Now Sara, that's no way to talk to me." Her eyes widened as one of his hands went to his fly. "NO!" He clamped his free hand over her mouth and pushed her down against the bed. She bucked against him, trying to throw him off, her knee came close to hitting him where it would hurt... "DAMNIT!" He growled at her, then a hard backhand came down, catching her hard on the side of the head. "Lay there and take it like the slut you are. It isn't anything I haven't had before." He pawed at the waistband of her shorts and ripped them and her panties down. Tears started to flow down her cheeks and she continued to shake her head. He didn't care and he didn't stop._


	14. Chapter XIII: Facing the Music

_Chapter XIII_

_Facing the Music_

Sara sat there in the booth, her coffee cold, her companion silent. Her dark eyes were distant, unfocused and filled with tears that the stoic woman still refused to spill. Her hands constantly moved, folding and refolding her napkin, tapping along with an unheard beat, swirling the dredges of coffee around in her cup. Catherine reached out and stilled those hyper hands. "Please tell me that this bastard got what he deserved, Sara." Sara sighed and looked at Catherine. She'd come this far, she might as well finish the story properly.

* * *

_She was called to the Principals Office. She wasn't sure exactly why. She hadn't missed any days of school and she always brushed her teeth very well before heading off to school every morning. She sat there, and Principal Torres stared her down. "Sara...you've lost weight, your work has taken a dive and it looks like you haven't slept for weeks. Is there something you'd like to tell me?" She instantly stiffened. "No." Gina Torres sighed, "Sara, you're a bright young lady, please tell me if something is wrong." Sara's eyes darted around wildly. "I'm fine." Torres sighed, "Fine. Sara, I hate to do this...but..." She hit a button on her phone. "Send them in." Two people, a man and a woman came into the room. Sara looked them over and truly began to panic, they were cops. _

_The woman crouched down in front of her. "Hi Sara, my name is Detective Janet Burgundy and this is my partner, Detective Alexander Harvey. We're here to ask you a few questions." Sara crossed her arms over her chest. "What about?" A look of sadness crossed over Detective Burgundy's face. "About 'Barely Legal' Magazine, Sara." She felt the blood drain from her face...her eyes fluttered and the room went gray. She felt a pair of hands on her shoulders, "Breathe, Sara. Take deep breathes." _

* * *

"_YOU LITTLE SLUT!" Anna Rogers's perfectly manicured hand cracked against Sara's cheek, leaving a scarlet print against pale skin. Detective Burgundy stepped up and put Sara behind her almost immediately. "Ma'am, you hit her again and I will arrest you for child abuse and aggravated assault." The usually calm and collected Mrs. Rogers let out what was almost a growl. " You're arresting MY son on the word of this white trash whore! This is ridiculous!" Detective Harvey, a large bear of a man, put his hand on Anna's shoulder. "Ma'am, I know this is a lot to take in, but it appears that your son has raped at least three of your former foster daughters and has taken pictures of at least two others." Anna jerked away from his hand, "It was consensual!" Detective Burgundy shook her head, "Sara is sixteen and she's been the oldest of them, none of them were of the age of consent. At best he's looking at statutory rape." Robert Rogers, who'd been quiet up until then, stepped forward, "You're telling us that Ethan...Ethan raped these girls? Our Ethan?" _

_Moments later, the man himself was drug down the stairs by two uniformed officers. "YOU FUCKING WHORE!" He fought agianst the officers, "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! THIS IS BULL SHIT!" Anna gasped and looked at the two detectives. Detective Harvey stepped over to the still struggling frat boy. "Ethan Rogers you are under arrest for the rape of the minor Sara Sidle, the production and distribution of child pornography..." When a right hook flew free and hit the detective in the gut, an almost predatory grin spread across the detective's face, "Resisting arrest and assaulting an officer." He pulled out his handcuffs and the ratcheting echoed in the now silent room. They pulled Ethan out of the door. He was yelling at his parents to help him, at Sara, promising to kill her, and he still proclaimed his innocence. The second the door shut behind them, Anna whirled once more on Sara. "Don't think that whore is staying under this roof a minute more!" She turned and stalked out of the room." Robert stood there, still pale and shocky. He gave one forlorn look at Sara. "I'm very sorry about all of this, Sara." His apology sounded almost sincere. He sighed and followed his wife, leaving Sara and Detective Burgundy standing there, alone in the foyer._

_Sara stood there, silently, she'd not said a word the entire time. Detective Burgundy, Janet, moved around and looked at her. "You okay, kiddo?" Sara nodded. Janet sighed, "Lets get you out of here." Sara nodded and was, for the second time in her short life, lead out of what was supposed to be her home by a detective. _

* * *

Sara sighed, "Ethan wouldn't plead, maintained his innocence the whole time, even appealed his sentence. They went back and found the other girls. He was found guilty of three counts of statutory rape, two counts of rape, five counts of kiddie porn production...the judge and jury came down hard on him, twenty-five years with no hope of early parole." She sighed, "The Feds came in and followed the trail up to the big guys, shut down 'Barely Legal' and arrested some photographers, they went to jail too. Sara looked out of the window. "Ethan would be forty-one now, I guess...one of the other girls was only fourteen...someone called 'short eyes' and well, he went from being someone's bitch to being shivved in the shower one day...Anna Rogers sent me a nice little letter when that happened, though how she found me at Harvard I still don't know. Janet, Detective Burgundy, just about flipped when I told her about it... You know I think I still have a restraining order standing against Anna..." Sara pushed her dark hair back behind her ears again and leaned back against the vinyl booth. "And that's it, more or less. I went to Harvard, did a little Grad work, went back to Frisco, went to work in the Morgue, became a CSI, came to Vegas, you know the rest."

* * *

She knew the rest? The way Catherine figured it, she'd just learned more about her younger college in the last hour then she had in five years. The dark revelations about Sara's adolescence echoed around in her mind, repeating and reverberating. She pulled Sara into a tight hug. "Sara, forgive me, but I can't bring myself to mourn that bastard." Sara let out a chuckle, "Janet said the same thing." Catherine looked at her, "So you kept in touch with the Detective?" Sara smiled, the first true smile Catheinre had seen all night, in many nights. "We keep in touch, we exchange emails all the time, her influence was one of the reasons I became a CSI." Catherine nodded and wondered just what kind of woman Janet Burgundy had to be to make such an impression on Sara Sidle.

Sara shrugged, "So that's it...I guess." She sighed, "The whole filthy tale."

Catherine saw through the false bravado, through the tough stoic face.

"Sara. Sara, look at me. Knowing about this...it doesn't change anything. You're still the same hard headed, talented CSI you were yesterday and the day before. Your past makes you who you are today. No one is going to hold it against you. Do you think less of me because I used to strip?" Sara shook her head, "No." "Then why on Earth would anyone think less of you for...this?" Sara shrugged, "I'm sure Ecklie is just itching to say something." Catherine's crystal blue eyes went dark. "You leave Ecklie to me." There was a flash in Catherine's blue eyes...that made Sara cringe on the inside...she hoped Ecklie was smart enough to know that that twinkle was bad news...then again it was Ecklie and Sara wouldn't really mind seeing Catherine level a Willows glare at the sniveling weasel of a man.

Sara let out a laugh, despite herself. "Catherine..I...well...thanks." Catherine smiled, "No problem. Now, let's go do some damage control." "You think it's that bad? Who all saw it?" Catherine shrugged, "I'm just thinking about getting Greg's passed out body down to the hospital, all things aside, Sara, those pictures were damn sexy and Greg probably blew a fuse or two. I hope you can use all those brains of yours to fix him. None of us want to go back to grunt work, that's why we let the rat out of the lab, remember."

The two women shared a laugh, paid the tab and headed back to CSI headquarters. Things had changed between them, both women knew it and both women were happy to know that they had, through the most bizarre of circumstances to be sure, made a new friend that night.


	15. Chapter XIV: Case Closed

_Chapter XIV_

_Case Closed_

Sara and Catherine returned to the CSI headquarters. Catherine went first, full of determination and the unstoppable Willows charm. Sara was less confident, but she wasn't going to back down. What Catherine had said, was true. She was no less a CSI because of what had happened nearly two decades before...and if anyone be they Ecklie, Grissom or anyone else, had something to say about it...well, Catherine was playing a very good guard dog at the moment and Sara was no longer a scared sixteen year old.

When she got to the break room, she was surprised to find it full. Nick, Warrick, Greg, Brass, Sofia and even Grissom were there, seemingly waiting for her. She gave a weak smile. "Uh...hi, guys." There was a moment of silence, then Greg spoke. "All right, I'm going to say it. It's what everyone is thinking, so I'm just going to put it out there." Sara braced for the worst. "Is your bellybutton still pierced?" From Greg's laugh, Sara supposed that her jaw drop must have been highly comical. Catherine came to the door. "Now, boys, behave." Nick snickered. "Someones jealous because they've been out-scandaled." Sara blinked. Grissom cocked an eyebrow. "I, for one, don't have any idea what they're talking about." Sara blinked and watched as all of the investigators shrugged. They were going to cover for her. She couldn't speak, she didn't have the words. Nick came around the table and threw an arm around her. "We love ya, Sar." She grinned at him.

"Well, if you're going to be so supportive, I guess you can't razz me about it?" Warrick laughed, "Oh no, girl, you're not going to hear the end of it for a long time...but no one else is going to hear anything about it." She smiled, "That's good, I think." Greg grinned, "Well, you can't win them all." Sara took a seat on the couch, "Well, I guess I can live with that..." Nick handed her a cup of coffee, "Now about that belly button ring?" Sara grinned, "I guess some things will remain a mystery."

Sofia Curtis sat across the room, she said nothing, but she inclined her coffee cup and smiled. That was enough to tell Sara that their staus-qou...whatever it was, for she wasn't exactly sure, had remained the same. Jim Brass gave her a smile and thumped her on the back. "Good work on the case tonight, Sara. Now go home, you look tired. Hell, we're all tired." A chorus of groans signaled that everyone agreed with the Capitan.

* * *

Despite being tired, Catherine Willows stayed up, to watch the dawn. Her daughter was safe. Catheine had said it before and would say it again, she was sure...she wasn't surprised by what people could do to each other anymore. She'd seen every kind of abuse, bloody murders, broken families... When it was a case, she could control it, lock it away, look at it with a degree of detachment. Sara wasn't a case. Sara was...well, she was Sara. She was the CSI who never said die. She chased criminals and followed evidence, chasing rabbits, running motives to ground. She was dedicated, she was talented, she was one of the best CSIs Catherine had ever worked with. She knew that what Sara had told her was only a small piece, only one of the many demons that haunted the woman. Catherine sighed, she'd once accused Sara of "going off the deep end" now she knew why. Sara chased justice and closure for not only the victims, but for herself as well. One day, Catherine hoped that Sara would tell her everything. One day, Sara would know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she was safe...and no one would ever hurt her like that again, not if Catherine had anything to say about it.

* * *

Sara Sidle lay in her bed. Tonight her deepest fears had been met, her nightmares had come true. Her dirty secret had been dragged into the unforgiving light of day...well metaphorically speaking. She couldn't say that she was happy about the turn of events...because frankly having her body displayed for the entire shift to see...still didn't thrill her all that much. The truth, though, was that she'd panicked a little too soon. She'd found a home here in Vegas...friends...family. She didn't need to be afraid that a secret would turn them away from her. It was strange, but delightfully true. Nick was right, they loved her. She smiled and rolled over. She was loved, she was safe...two things that were definitely worth waiting for. 

Fin

Author's Note: Well, there you go: Not pretty, not fluffy. I actually wrote a Sara/Cath friendship fic. I don't know about the rest of you but I'm proud of myself for that if nothing else. As always, there are a few thanks to go out. To all the lovely, marvelous, stupendous people who sent me reviews, thank you so much! Big thanks go out to my always loyal beta reader Jenn, who after going through her own tests had to hear me yak about this and other CSI fics for what must of amounted to hours on end, brave woman. Last, but certainly not least, thanks to everyone for reading! Now if you'll excuse me, I have some more writing to get to...


End file.
